


grief does some funny things

by hanorganaas



Series: Comment_fic ficlets. [17]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Community: comment_fic, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Force-Sensitive Han Solo, Gen, Grief/Mourning, In Memory of Carrie Fisher, Not Canon Compliant, cathartic writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: Han comes face to face with a surprise visitor as he mourns the death of his wife.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Marlex prompted: any, any/any, sleeping together to fight away the grief of losing someone
> 
> I honestly don't know what came over me...I guess the Oscars made me really sad about Losing Carrie again. So I wrote this fic, and honestly felt better writing it. So enjoy.

Han doesn't know if it was him crying for hours on end at the sad irony of fighting to come home, only to find the love of his life had died and his vision was blurred or Grief is turning into madness. But he sits up slightly in the bunk of his ship, to see his son...Ben...Kylo Ren...whatever he calls himself these days lingering in the doorway.

His mask is on, his hood is up. This is the last thing Han needed to see when his world has shattered enough. He wonders even if he is here to finish the job he failed to do last time. Maybe its a good thing. Luke doesn't want to let anyone in he's too upset - Han fought for nothing - he doesn't want to live anymore, not when he is doing this alone.

"Don't you have a universe to conquer," Han rasps, his voice shakey from being on the verge of tears. He wants to love Ben like he used to but after the boy almost killed him, he doesn't want to disappoint himself. He already knows the sting of life disappointing him.

Han hears a hiss, and to the smuggler's shock, Ben is taking off his mask. What is behind it more shocking to say the least. Ben's pale face is red from crying. His dark eyes are puffy and swollen. There are tear tracks visible even in the darkness. It is the first time, even over that encounter on the bridge, he sees Ben truly vulnerable.

"Mom's dead because of me," Ben hiccups, "I don't want to do this anymore. I want to come home."

Han senses Ben's sadness is genuine, the kid always had a soft spot for his mother. But the Smuggler debates even letting him in. He knows last time he did it left him in a whole world of pain.

Yet as he looks into his Son's sad eyes, a realization hits him like a blaster to a chest. Ben is a part of Leia and if he really thought about it...the only thing of her...he has left.

Han lays himself back down in the bunk and pats a spot next to him. He closes his eyes, hearing Ben's footsteps come near him. For a second he wonders if he is going to feel a burn of a lightsaber pulsing through his stomach.

It never comes.

Instead the bed creaks and Ben curls up into his father's side, his head burrowing in his shoulder. Han could feel warm tears against the skin of his neck as his son wails so violently his body is shaking. Actions before were reluctant, but this time he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Ben.

Han pulls the kid closer and lays his chin at the crown of his head. Large deft fingers move down the ridges of his son's spine. Han feels his own eyes watering as he begins to soothe the kid. But he's a father, he knows he has to be stronger.

"It's okay Benny," Han says his voice cracking, "it's okay."

He begins to do what he always did when Snoke would fill Ben's head with nightmares. He rocked his son back and forth. Singing a lullably for as long as his carbonite weakened lungs would allow him. Soothing his son to sleep.

Suddenly he feels something....warmth. Somewhere in the force he senses Leia smiling. It took a tragedy, but finally, FINALLY, her two boys are together. A proof that even in darkness, light can shine through.

Throughout his tears, Han cannot help but smile too.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to Send me Prompts at
> 
> http://melindamaay.co.vu/


End file.
